
Leaving the professional world for mission
May 18, 2021
Leaving the professional world for mission
May 18, 2021When My Heart Found Its Home
How an encounter with Jesus in the Eucharist transformed my pain, gave my life new meaning, and led me to discover my vocation.
I grew up in a Catholic family, but for many years, my faith was more of a tradition than a personal relationship with God. My mother had a deep devotion to Our Lady, attended Mass, and prayed the Rosary with us. Yet, although I knew Jesus existed, He did not occupy a central place in my daily life. As I grew older, I gradually drifted away from Him. I surrounded myself with friends who were not always a good influence and pursued what the world offered, unaware of how far I was moving from God’s plan for me.
At fifteen, my world fell apart when my mother died unexpectedly. She had been everything to me, and losing her left me devastated. I entered a period of profound darkness and emptiness. Instead of turning to God, I felt angry and betrayed by Him. As a little girl, I had often prayed, “Lord, please let my mother stay with us for many years.” Now she was gone, and I could not understand why God had allowed it to happen. I struggled to make sense of my life without the person I loved most.
As I approached my seventeenth birthday, questions began to surface in my heart: What am I doing with my life? Where am I going? Is there something more than what I am living now? I did not yet realize that, even in my confusion and pain, God was already at work within me. He was patiently drawing me toward Himself, preparing me for an encounter that would change everything.
It happened one afternoon when I was feeling particularly sad and broken. I looked toward the church in my hometown and felt a deep desire to go inside. I knew Jesus was there because my family had taught me about His presence in the Eucharist. But this time was different. No one told me to go. No one invited me. I went on my own, moved by a genuine desire to see Him and experience His presence.
I entered the church and walked straight to the tabernacle. The church was empty, and there, in the silence, my life changed forever. I encountered a living God who was waiting for me—not to condemn me for my doubts or question my choices, but to reveal how deeply I was loved. For the first time, God’s love was no longer simply something I had learned about. It became something I experienced deep within my soul. In the Eucharist, I encountered the loving embrace of Jesus, and that encounter began to transform me from within.
That experience awakened in me a thirst to know Jesus more deeply and allow Him to shape my life. I began seeking Him more intentionally. I joined parish groups, prayed the Rosary, attended daily Mass, and spent Mondays in Eucharistic adoration. Little by little, the Eucharist became my greatest treasure. I loved being with Jesus. What had once been a religious practice became the center of my life—a personal encounter with the One who had loved me through my darkest moments.
As my relationship with Jesus deepened, a new desire began to emerge: the desire for religious life. I found myself becoming excited whenever I saw the sisters. This surprised me because I had once thought their lives must be terribly boring! I had even studied at a school run by religious sisters and never imagined that I might one day follow in their footsteps. Yet God was gently opening my heart to a possibility I had never considered for myself.
I approached this new desire with honesty and freedom. I did not want to confuse my own wishes with God’s plan, so I prayed, “Lord, if this comes from You, let it grow; if it does not, take it away from me.” I wanted to follow His will, wherever it might lead. Over time, that desire did not disappear. Instead, it grew stronger, accompanied by a deeper love for Jesus and an increasing longing to give my life entirely to Him.
Looking back, I realize that my vocation did not begin with a perfect life, unwavering faith, or a clear understanding of God’s plans. It began with a wounded heart that allowed itself to be found by Jesus. He did not wait for me to have everything figured out. He met me where I was, loved me as I was, and gradually revealed a path I could never have imagined on my own.
The words of Scripture have become a guiding light for me: “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also” (Matthew 6:21). I discovered that my greatest treasure was Jesus Himself. As I grew in love for Him, I also discovered the joy of giving my life to Him through consecrated life. What began as a quiet encounter in an empty church became a love story that continues to unfold.
Today, I can say with certainty that if I could begin my life again, I would choose Him over and over. Not because the journey has always been easy, but because I have discovered that no other love can fulfill the deepest longings of my heart. Jesus transformed my pain into a path toward Him, and in the Eucharist, I found not only the love I had been searching for, but also the call that would give my life its deepest meaning.
May God bless you!
Sr. Maria Bello, PCM
